Are you my friend?

Im at that point in my life where I am re evaluating friendships.
For too long I have lived my friends life. Their happiness became my total responsibility. When they were sad/depressed...that meant I failed.
Now I see true happiness.
In that happiness, I see jealousy.
In that jealousy, I see truth.

I now am in a stage of re evaluation.
People want the 'best' for you but what drives that motive? is it because your 'best' fits into their plan?
Life is more complicated than it seems.
It up to me to see the simplicity.
Clear away the clutter of negativity.

Are you my friend?

Another day goes by......

And I'm here again in work.
Yesterday for the Holiday I did nothing special but it was special in every way. I spent the day with LCD and my 'mother- in- law' :)
Ate all of LCD's favourite foods which made me think of how special life is in T&T.
Bahgi, pumpkin and saltfish and tomatoes with buss up shut. Where else can you find that mix.?!

My aunt arrived last night in from Cali for my graduation on Friday. I opened the newspapers this morning only to see a past classmate winning a prize for business having obtained a first class honours in business management. In the Catholic news on Sunday, there was my best friend for winning a scholarship (why didnt I know about this?!) she has stopped talking to me for some reason I am still trying to figure out. All my calls to her have gone unanswered and I have only been able to reach her through email.

So yes...I feel like have wasted my time in UWI. Musical Arts?! hmmm...especially after my sister got a first class honours also. Maybe I have overestimated my intelligence.
I cant wait for my second chance to study business and communications (i think)
But even as I write this...Business and communications? I wonder why these are my choices. I will be stuck in the corporate world forever!
I want to move! I want to create! I want to inspire! I want to LIVE!

Maybe I should do a degree in living.
Jaase B.A/B.Sc in LIVING, INSPIRING AND PERFORMING ARTS

PROFOUND!

Yesterday for my weekly meeting of WOMAN-The Event, Elspeth Duncan, noted Multimedia artist (writing, music, photography, interactive conceptual art, video/film) graced us with her presence. She is an artist I have always wanted to meet and was and still am intreagued my her work and mind. In the little space of an hour and a half, she said such profound things that I wrote down and promised to remember in my daily existence.
1. develop your intuition- this way you are more in touch with the world and by extension, yourself.
2. Do what your heart calls you to do- don’t do things just for money.
3. FIND THE DEEPER THINGS IN SIMPLICITY- this is something which I have been doing for the past year. Since this, I appreciate all the small things in life.
4. Creation= transformation
5. Creativity = life : creativity comes from the heart. It is the root. It is the foundation.
6. Don’t hold on to your best work- Sometimes by throwing things away, you actually create or you allow new things to be created.
7. Don’t force things to happen- sit back and allow things to happen for you. The earth takes a natural course. If it is meant to be it will be.
8. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE
9. Magic is art and art is magic.
10. Emptiness allows for other things to fill us.


Emptiness allows for other things to fill us.

This statement shouted to me. For the past few years I have been feeling empty. Though my life is finally experiencing happiness, I feel creatively empty. Since a child I had visions of myself being successful and reaching places by this age. I am no where near to my goals. I am in a job that is not boring but not exciting. It’s a job. There is money.
I want more from life. I spent 3 years doing a degree in Musical Arts And now feel no sense of achievement now that I’m finished. I want to explore my creative self. Connect with the root of it all- my heart and the earth. It is what guides us. It is what will open my mind to everything.
I have been experiencing a serious case of writers block for a long while. While I have so much emotion and opinion in my head, I cannot express it.
My music has died- my poetry has died- my art has died
I fear that my creativity is dying.
For now- I will try my best to listen to E.
Don’t force things to happen
Sit back and allow things to happen for you. The earth takes a natural course. If it is meant to be it will be.
That is profound!

LOVE equals the will of another

You say you are not creative..
You say you are not them..
Thats the point.
I dont want you to be them.
Thats what makes you so different.
Thats why I love you.

You try to see the creativity from a non creative aspect.
You support my dreams.
You become my dreams.
Then I open my eyes.
And you are still there.

You are no Z..
I dnt want you to be.
You are no E..
I dont want you to be.
You are my LCD..
The one that I want you to be.
You...for me.

Inspiration

I'm stitting here.
Feeling inspired.
But
My mouth cant open
....................................
WRITERS BLOCK