Wake up and smell the dog shit...

Me:
Jeez, I dont know how (name of gf) can NOT be addicted to you! You are like a good dream come true as a (boyfriend/partner).

Person x:
Thanks so r u sweetie, but u r not a dream. Sigh....

Me:
I know I'm not your dream :( sigh......

Person x:
At present I not capable of a dream. I'm dreamproof. Jus livin reality. Dont know if that's good or bad. I so mad at myself sometimes.

Me:
You do what you do. Circumstances made you who you are. Its time for me to stop dreaming and accept reality.

ITS OFFICIAL PEOPLE...
The dream needs to end.
Maybe its time for me to face reality.

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

Amen.

Haven't blogged in a bit.......

I felt compelled to this space today. I don't know why. Maybe because I used to use this space as a place to vent and just let go of all the things I felt and had no one to say it too.....and now I am back in that place I guess.....to an extent.

This is the update. The fact:- I am in love.
BLEH.
and it does NOT feel good.

Strange.

I have been in love for 3 years....3 YEARS! and I only realised last month when I finally spoke to this person of my dreams. (Person x)

CRAZY!

Now for the BLEH part. .....
The person of my dreams loves someone else and has been in a 3 year relationship.
Again I reiterate......
BLEH.

So what do I do? Sigh.......

The fact:-
I forget how to breath when I see person x...for 3 years I have been forgetting how to breathe, and even if I see person x a lot now, it still happens.

So here is the question:
What is to be in love?
STEUPS.

another question:-
Am I waiting in vain and placing false trust and hope in prayer and in the secret?

Another fact:-
I want someone who loves me AS MUCH AS AND EVEN MORE THAN I love them.

The fact:
I guess I have a wait that's longer than expected.

SIGH