Are you still there?

In retrospect....

I think,
I ponder of my status in this whole equation. My function.
Do I compute with the multiplied subtraction in your life?
And I wonder if I measured up to your expectations that you lived for.
Your tantrums, your dreams, and when you felt blue, and the fine lines between your uncommon dialogues with your soul.
I wonder...
Your lover's call now becomes mine while I answer in silence that you can hear only if you desire.
Where are you my beloved? ...I am here
Where are you my beautiful star?....I am here
Do my eyes possess you? do you desire my kiss? There is no need to run my beautiful beloved star.
I am the one you seek. I own the heart you desire. It is you who possesses the eyes to see.

And like you, I continue to plead my desperate question to the universal highest entity....why did you bestow upon me the power to love as I love? Why did you bless me with a treasure that may not be able to cherish what I have to give?...because walls so high and indestructable have been built for protection. While I await my opportunity to show you what love is.

Walls that were previously broken to allow pretenders in fuck me shoes to enter...

And like you I shall wait 525, 600 minutes and even though the sun sets on my hope, I will not regret.

Do I inspire you as the time when you loved before? Do I inspire a name? Maybe a written vent of emotion. I wear no fuck you shoes but I am clothed in trial and error in a desperate attempt to engage your attention and please your eyes once again. Do I inspire you? Have I ever inspired you?

Are you still alive? Have I dimmed your light for carefree living and enjoying intimate nights when your mood forecasts?

Forecasts....a lesson plan I am yet to receive, but intermittantly trying to predict when there will be rain or sunshine, or when I should just not leave home in shelter from the storm.

Different books, different chapters. I agree. I am no jelly bean.

But the merging of books and literery content can ....will result in a bestselling novel if the marketing is right. Take a risk sunshine.

I yearn to see a dimpled smile.
I yearn to see lustful lips.
I yearn to see that glimmer in your eyes.

I can take you there where you have gone before. This time only further. Retired to heaven where your list of wishes can be burned.

My body and mind are willing, but they sometimes falter and question if it is a losing battle. A battle I think I must wait, for time will heal all wounds and in time, I trust. In time, I will be discovered. In time...

I hope.

Are you still there?
I hear no answer....
Maybe no one is home..
525, 600 minutes...
no number can compute my wait for you.