temporary insanity

I know I question...
I have questioned everything from why is the sky blue to why is the grass green and sometimes brown, to who is God, who am I and how do I define myself.
That is what I do...
I question.
It is not meant as an interrogation, but more of an desperate attempt to gain a better understanding of myself or an understanding of you.
Sometimes it seems like the earth is shifting paradigms below my feet and I can't keep up.
I question myself to try to abate the 'demons' in my head.
I call them demons because sometimes I get so confused.
My mind transfers into a busy highway traffic jam with loud horns and screaching car brakes.
I try to stop..
Slow down, but its like a brain on crack.
Everything moves so fast.
And I question myself then.
Whats going on? whats happening?
At that moment, rationality escapes my maturity and thoughts that are so irrational suddenly makes perfect sense.
It's racing, I cry pent up tears not only for the present, but for the past, and for the future.
I don't know what it is, but I am trying to find out.
After this 'episode' I am so tired.
Mentally,
physically.
Unable to withdraw hurtful words,
uncouth feelings.
I am tired.
I need to rest.
Please understand.
For a moment I am not myself.
I know its hard to comprehend.
Please tell me what I did
tell me what words I said
tell me what idea I had
For fragments only remain embeded in my memory.
You are scared I know,
I am scared also.
I need to rest,
please let me rest.
please disregard the last few minutes of insanity
I know you may not understand,
but please
try to understand.
Please love me in spite of my fault.
it is still the 'me' that you know.