unwanted

I have layed myself at your alter
unclothed my body and exposed my weaknesses
I have broken down all hinderances
for you.
and waited patiently for you to do the same...
but i guess I expected too much

I have altered and changed and waited..
hoping, and praying and examining
myself.
and how i could improve so that i could have equaled your expectation
and improved your satisfaction.
but I guess I misunderstood.

I have dressed and undressed,
made and unmade faces and wardrobes to
capture attentions that waned.
To fit into high healed shoes of sneakered feet
just to scream...look at me...
this is for you

But now I have unwillingly reached the point where all is left but my impending exit.
since there is no other function for my obsolete position.
I add no value to your life and no aspect of it requires my existence.

No physical, emotional, sexual, mental or imaginary wish is for me to be there.
This is how it is...
3rd times the charm out of 3.
It happens again.
and again
and again.

If I go, what will you miss?
Maybe just a text, but never my kiss.
For I have managed to achieve in 9months
what ex girlfriends achieve in 3 and more years.
maybe I am just not cut out for this.

I guess its time to exit and disappear.
for I no longer serve a purpose
I wish I can erase the hurt and the pain
since the next step will be the hardest
and the next chapter will remain ...
unopened.


****I have found everything I have wanted and everything I prayed for, but you have not yet found the answer to your prayer. Maybe you do deserve more than me****